Tan Ikram: wiggle your bum

Imagine it: you are the Deputy Chief Magistrate of England and Wales.

Against the evidence, and in defiance of the most basic principles of English criminal justice, you choose to take the Side of Evil – child sex abusers and their supporters – in the Samantha Baldwin case.

Now everybody thinks you’re a twit.

What do you do next?

Well, our advice is simple: Tan, you need to wiggle your bum.

That’s right.

Wiggle your bum.

Why worry when you can wiggle your bum?

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